REST IN PEACE...!!!

almost a month and two it has been, and i find myself looking for a scent .... one that releases the sense of belonging... a place where my bull is ever faithful ... i find peace in the 180 sq.ft. coffin...

it is pain like no other... a feeling of being ripped out of my own body, my knees and knuckles ripping, my throat gashed and the body smeared with loneliness... my mind turns inside out and leaves the confines of sensibility... the dream of a man along with his conscience is not too far... it wasn't far before...

what have i done... y does my scream not leave my body... why is the struggle so intense,yet so invisible... why does the storm in my mind seem silent in my eye... i leave the shore of high waves, to set sail into the deeper oceans where i may find at long last...the darkness of the deep reflecting in my mind... my faith and belief just one with the darkness.

the land of GOLD

raju met me a few mins b4 i cud've been comfy wid eneone... his taxi was cool and his manner polite...he seemed like a small towner and eager for life's encounters...at 26 he was modest ... then he mentioned the land of the AG... and splendid though he felt... he was not shy like i was .... n i did not hide it... my 6th time was close i knew... but how n when only the butterflies in me could predict.... he parked far away...and we walked down throught atleast a dozen streets and abt 3-4 kms. He asked for a re-round and i didnt hesitate.... and it was his fancy -bengali talk that did the trick.... ppl wud be snubbed, but if i was out to earn n had no respectful clients i wudnt like my job too.....he was smart in finances and also was best with bargaining... at last after 3 hrs of raju time... i must hav smoked to breath and relief.... only if i was street smart..... raju learnt it the hard way..... it was his choices i believe.... mine lead me ahead...and it was not a memory too kill...

CALZ 'N' PALZ

and the nameless partners leave behind a 200 ruppee chalan memory....

im back at, where it all started..... mai pilace auf bearth....CALCUTTA....bandh

n all is fine but when

the closest rollwala left... he pissed me off... @:$% him.... @:$%them all...
and no fish balls... damn now im PISSED....

met hussy and sam ... her mom is as sweet as she is dumb.....VERY...

saw nothing.... did nothng... just eating

maya is doin pagal-pariksha...wat to say.... all is same in cal... more

because ppl refuse to grow... only the trams r receding and the land is dirtier...

all these trips (nagpur, pachmadi, cal) make me realise wat a bleesin MUM is...

it is more advanced than enething in india... n no matter wht eneone says...

im a mumboy eneday....travel is more than just a realisation... it is a encyclopedia

u travel through.... it is in the making while u go through it.....

March 8th, 2008


azeer ( i m a poop machine) sayz.. just type anything yaar….. and then hands over a newspaper dates 23rd july 06… it magically produces a mikly comment inside….. thanks Az..

hope and my nu life

it was just wed now n i was never more out of energy.... 2 nights-of 2-3 hrs of sleep later i felt like walkin through mist and seeing he sky below me. even though dad looks a lot younger and moms overjoyed and bro's still indifferent to enething ... i feel older than ever b4..
how my life is gonna change once i move out of this place.... so empty , so light , so ... so .... umm... new. GG is gonna turn an abrupt one in my life of only 21 now... so whats nu im asked and all i can reply is ' hmmm , nothing man.' and that wudhav been so true, if it wasnt to include worring about 3rd yr, exams, results. shifting, mom , and stress, nervousness insomia, clinical depression... et.all
why does this mean im goin crazy... arent we all goin through hell with a smile ... jus bcuz i c my doc more for no severe disease , i have been ever so many times classified as ' pagal ' .
pagal or not.. jus me being me inspite of so many changes is wht suprises me and keeps me going all the time.
so , i dont believe in spirituality , i wont agree in putting my faith in anything other than my mind, so what if im just not the simple fellow u go along with to the house of worship.... me is no differente' ... wow it feels like an hour, i doesnt take even a min to read.... guess it may never pay off..... heh heh... heh...!!!

FREE-O-WAT

reached rohits place... exams sucked... structures main ludkegaa...lagta hain... snv was OK.... damn i might get a drop...useful or useless.. i dunno... i will certainly make the most of either situations..
i read areens reply too 'plz reply'.. he was so pissed.... i feel good that he gave him a piece of him... and he spoke for the class in majority...
our problem lies in the initial thought that we loved us all and then BOOM....!!! like in any relationship... we realise all r fine but with a few differences and it is a blow when u have to acclimatize to fit in...
An Utopian world wud allow u to b urself..selflessly.... mine doesn't

pappu-yaar

a pappu-yaar comment come as a heavenly message .... it says ... arre yaar naam mita.... heh heh ... angry though he is.... im fine wid it.... damn hungry .... he doesnt understand....
bharakta hai salla....
ideas pop-up and now im plannin to do some(many) things for the hols... apart from my internal submissions to do....
salla bheja fry ho gaya hai... exams r on 15th and structures is yet to begin.... kutta kahe-ka...
ye hai meri kahani.... khmosh zindagani..... what a song.... poora TP hai....
pappu pappu pappu.... tension mat le.... kam pe concentrate kar.... aur sab fit ho jayega....
n now in bored of typing... so ill leve it here...
chal pappu... chalta hai....

was watching the show on ngc about india and its wonders sp. north. delhi and all. why do v need a world travel when it is all here.?? the problems of the world find their solutions in india.... even then v flok to the west... wow.... how nice.... the bloody west is flockin to india.... from food to art to living to peace... it is here.... i m saying that wht is to achieve when u dunno ur power but set to find out other's...?? ?? im not binding on to regional boundaaries, but thats a start isn't it... a travel is the biggggest education tecnique ever... how many do it to learn. the world is switching to brick now and v r just finding wonders in concrete.... moving slow is our thing... fightin for bieng called backward is our mission...the land of the maharajas is open to tourists and indian flok there only to loot thse travellers.. .
the connectivity v hav here is so great that v can join hands to rule the world( not that it would b the priroty to my life), indian markets r the oil wells of arabia... we made curry for god sake.... yoga n martial arts r bieng profecionally taught, the world over.... it is our weapon...
we r basking in the glory of our ancesters and r reluctant to take it forward.... who will ??? ... the west?... it shall b us..if only v c it as our mission, not by waiting for someone to do it. awareness is low and hence india is stagnant. SHANGHAI says it wants to b NEWYORK by 2020..... we in india say, MUMBAI shud b SHANGHAI by 2020..... heh heh.... newyork may never b our dream...... y cudve just been the best... and some day NEWYORK ma say.... WE WANNA B MUMBAI by 20--.....!!! !!