Today turned out to be the worst meeting ever... She was rude, She was wierd, She was unsettling, She was quiet.
last night i had the best time ever,with her and i cannot belelive how much a person can change by just being sober.... What i do not understand is where i went wrong, all throughout this...
Why is this happening all over again.
I cannot take it....
I cannot take her...
I am done... I care enough to ask her to leave in peace and be happy... Thats about it....
- joon 050310
Friday, March 05, 2010
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Some time Later...
the trips r done.. the dombivali house is pending due to reasons unknown... the card is ready and the academics is in for a ride... "a toss" some might call it. everything is pending and I'm just not in the mood to do it... JUST not in it man... well i hope things get alright fast.. or else I'm gonna be really really screwed... I'm already screwed as it is... so.... and now there is this new world thing coming up.... well it sure is intriguing... hope things turn out fine... i have a knack for it...
the trips r done.. the dombivali house is pending due to reasons unknown... the card is ready and the academics is in for a ride... "a toss" some might call it. everything is pending and I'm just not in the mood to do it... JUST not in it man... well i hope things get alright fast.. or else I'm gonna be really really screwed... I'm already screwed as it is... so.... and now there is this new world thing coming up.... well it sure is intriguing... hope things turn out fine... i have a knack for it...
Monday, January 19, 2009
Happy New Year
It spells happiness and it is usually the lousy start to a year ahead.. the first thing in the morning of the new year one generally has to recollect who is he with and what is he doing and where the fuck is he.. But well it is tradition.. And we all do it. our parties range from huge one, where u will loose someone in the crowd and then there r some where u r a team member, and will remain to be in spite of your team losing the beer drinking competition, and then there r couples and friends and several couples and many friends and some dorks who r just alone n u don’t know what to do with them.
Apart from all this I’m writing today for a reason. I just saw an assembly of about a thousand people in a place, and I could have never imagined it to be true. A boy from across my street had just been in a bike accident and he was rushed back home early in the morning from somewhere. I caught a glimpse of a couple of people sitting on his front porch and a few standing stray outside his house.
But when I returned from my jog, I could have bet myself that the boy was attracting more people than ever. But the 20 or so people didn't bother me even so. I had seen that many people in my gully during a small celebration or something...
It was time for me to sleep and I remember asking Deepak to shut the window. The noise of the people below wasn't letting me sleep. Around 5.05 pm I get up, only to find that everyone from my office is creating a havoc moving from window to balcony just talking about some view. And even the girls were sitting against one of the windows. I still didn't get it... but like I said, no matter whenever we get up in the morning of the New Year, we have no clue about things happening outside of our heads.
But what bought me back to my senses was when I saw my father run to my front balcony and then I knew there was something serious. I asked Deepak once and then again and he just looked at me with a look that said 'this is it na bhaiya'. I rushed to the window and (I shit u not) there were about a thousand people down there. I thought it impolite to take a picture of the crowd, and so I didn't. The body was just leaving and that is when I heard the chant of ram-ram and I caught a sight of the boy. He lay limp, stuffed with cotton and pasted in yellow. His body looking twice his normal size with those flowers on him and his head peeping out of the white cloth. His skull was still bandaged and looked pretty nasty to me. The young boy (college going) had succumbed to his injury and a thought hit me.
Apart from all this I’m writing today for a reason. I just saw an assembly of about a thousand people in a place, and I could have never imagined it to be true. A boy from across my street had just been in a bike accident and he was rushed back home early in the morning from somewhere. I caught a glimpse of a couple of people sitting on his front porch and a few standing stray outside his house.
But when I returned from my jog, I could have bet myself that the boy was attracting more people than ever. But the 20 or so people didn't bother me even so. I had seen that many people in my gully during a small celebration or something...
It was time for me to sleep and I remember asking Deepak to shut the window. The noise of the people below wasn't letting me sleep. Around 5.05 pm I get up, only to find that everyone from my office is creating a havoc moving from window to balcony just talking about some view. And even the girls were sitting against one of the windows. I still didn't get it... but like I said, no matter whenever we get up in the morning of the New Year, we have no clue about things happening outside of our heads.
But what bought me back to my senses was when I saw my father run to my front balcony and then I knew there was something serious. I asked Deepak once and then again and he just looked at me with a look that said 'this is it na bhaiya'. I rushed to the window and (I shit u not) there were about a thousand people down there. I thought it impolite to take a picture of the crowd, and so I didn't. The body was just leaving and that is when I heard the chant of ram-ram and I caught a sight of the boy. He lay limp, stuffed with cotton and pasted in yellow. His body looking twice his normal size with those flowers on him and his head peeping out of the white cloth. His skull was still bandaged and looked pretty nasty to me. The young boy (college going) had succumbed to his injury and a thought hit me.
He was just celebrating his new-year with his friends and he was hit. He, just like me had no idea of the tomorrow and he certainly didn't know how he would get up in the New Year. On the first of Jan when millions awake- a guy I hardly knew was laying there and he was free. About a thousand people were there and they chose to get up on their first holiday of the year and come console this boy’s family and friends. the scene imprinted in my head, a body floating by, amongst chants and the street full of nothing but heads and the large group of ladies sobbing, the friends of that guy, staring at the blank wall, dumb struck, the little kids not knowing what to ask and then me, with my rush of thoughts.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
REST IN PEACE...!!!
almost a month and two it has been, and i find myself looking for a scent .... one that releases the sense of belonging... a place where my bull is ever faithful ... i find peace in the 180 sq.ft. coffin...
it is pain like no other... a feeling of being ripped out of my own body, my knees and knuckles ripping, my throat gashed and the body smeared with loneliness... my mind turns inside out and leaves the confines of sensibility... the dream of a man along with his conscience is not too far... it wasn't far before...
what have i done... y does my scream not leave my body... why is the struggle so intense,yet so invisible... why does the storm in my mind seem silent in my eye... i leave the shore of high waves, to set sail into the deeper oceans where i may find at long last...the darkness of the deep reflecting in my mind... my faith and belief just one with the darkness.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
the land of GOLD
raju met me a few mins b4 i cud've been comfy wid eneone... his taxi was cool and his manner polite...he seemed like a small towner and eager for life's encounters...at 26 he was modest ... then he mentioned the land of the AG... and splendid though he felt... he was not shy like i was .... n i did not hide it... my 6th time was close i knew... but how n when only the butterflies in me could predict.... he parked far away...and we walked down throught atleast a dozen streets and abt 3-4 kms. He asked for a re-round and i didnt hesitate.... and it was his fancy -bengali talk that did the trick.... ppl wud be snubbed, but if i was out to earn n had no respectful clients i wudnt like my job too.....he was smart in finances and also was best with bargaining... at last after 3 hrs of raju time... i must hav smoked to breath and relief.... only if i was street smart..... raju learnt it the hard way..... it was his choices i believe.... mine lead me ahead...and it was not a memory too kill...
raju met me a few mins b4 i cud've been comfy wid eneone... his taxi was cool and his manner polite...he seemed like a small towner and eager for life's encounters...at 26 he was modest ... then he mentioned the land of the AG... and splendid though he felt... he was not shy like i was .... n i did not hide it... my 6th time was close i knew... but how n when only the butterflies in me could predict.... he parked far away...and we walked down throught atleast a dozen streets and abt 3-4 kms. He asked for a re-round and i didnt hesitate.... and it was his fancy -bengali talk that did the trick.... ppl wud be snubbed, but if i was out to earn n had no respectful clients i wudnt like my job too.....he was smart in finances and also was best with bargaining... at last after 3 hrs of raju time... i must hav smoked to breath and relief.... only if i was street smart..... raju learnt it the hard way..... it was his choices i believe.... mine lead me ahead...and it was not a memory too kill...
Sunday, June 08, 2008
CALZ 'N' PALZ
and the nameless partners leave behind a 200 ruppee chalan memory....
and the nameless partners leave behind a 200 ruppee chalan memory....
im back at, where it all started..... mai pilace auf bearth....CALCUTTA....bandh
n all is fine but when
the closest rollwala left... he pissed me off... @:$% him.... @:$%them all...
and no fish balls... damn now im PISSED....
and no fish balls... damn now im PISSED....
met hussy and sam ... her mom is as sweet as she is dumb.....VERY...
saw nothing.... did nothng... just eating
maya is doin pagal-pariksha...wat to say.... all is same in cal... more
because ppl refuse to grow... only the trams r receding and the land is dirtier...
all these trips (nagpur, pachmadi, cal) make me realise wat a bleesin MUM is...
it is more advanced than enething in india... n no matter wht eneone says...
im a mumboy eneday....travel is more than just a realisation... it is a encyclopedia
u travel through.... it is in the making while u go through it.....
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